Fran & Susie's travel dairy

Day 1-6 Melbourne
Upon our arrival to Australia, we were greeted at the airport by a cool guy called Chris who was putting us up whilst we were in Melbourne. He was family of a friend, and even though we had never met before, he and his family gave us a very warm welcome. Having been on the road for the last 10 weeks it was really nice to have some home comforts. We even managed to do some proper laundry (as opposed to the sink cycle). They had a fantastic house in a nice suburb of Melbourne that had a pool and possibly the best bbq we have ever seen… in fact it’s the law to have a pool and bbq in your garden in Australia or so it seems.

On our first night we were treated to an awesome steak which Chris cooked to perfection on his monster barbie and plenty of premium alcohol with him and his wife Robyn. We quickly realised that you can’t beat Aussie hospitality, although ironically he is English and she is an NZ’er. The next few days followed a similar pattern and they were brilliant hosts. We were extremely thankful for their kindness and thoroughly enjoyed our time with them!

Melbourne is apparently one of the most liveable cities in the world and immediately you can see why. It’s a really relaxed, chilled out city despite its population being over 4million. It’s very green with lots of parks, a beach, an outdoors lifestyle, food heritage and a great café culture. It reminded us of a cross between San Francisco and Nice.

The centre was much more compact than we thought it would be and was easy to walk around or use the tram (which was free in parts of the CBD). We visited the MCG (most famous Aussie cricket Ground) and a few other sporting venues as well plus wandering around the ‘Lanes’ which were full of quirky shops, cafes and eateries. We watched a live cooking show at the Old Vic Market where some famous name dropping Aussie chef (oh the other day when I was chatting with Jamie Oliver etc etc) produced some tasty food which we got to sample.

We also spent a day at the beach in St Kilda, our first experience of Aussie beach life. It was pretty busy with sunbathers, kite surfers and people playing sports. It’s not quite the image of an Aussie beach you might have in your head as it’s a bit man made, but hell we wouldn’t complain if Manchester had anything half as good. There was a small marina and also some rocks which housed the little protected penguins we’d see the next day at Phillip Island. A sneak peek and we were even allowed to photograph these littl’uns!

Day 7 Phillip Island
Now, what with us being little and all, we were easily persuaded to visit Phillip Island which boasts the smallest penguin species in the world, the Blue Penguin. We hired a car for the day and drove a couple of hours south-east to this awesome island. The scenery was stunning with rugged coastal cliffs and beautiful beaches. As well as seeing the cute penguins we also visited a koala conservation area and milked a cow at a working farm. SP was told by the farmer that she was a natural farm hand! The koalas were super cute as well as extremely lazy (or energy conserving is how they are politely referred to) although the one male present was persistently trying and ultimately failing to get some action.

The penguin parade was really cool. You park yourselves at the viewing area about an hour before sunset to make sure you get the best seats. We had been warned by Robyn that it gets seriously cold on this exposed beach and she had been kind enough to lend us a couple of blankets which we were extremely thankful for by the end of the night. The rangers told us the penguin ETA so all we had to do was wait. Expectantly we peered in to the sea waiting for these little penguins to come home to feed their chicks (breeding season was now in full swing). Penguin arrival time (8:30pm) had come and gone without so much as a Geordie lookalike and we were starting to get pretty frosty. But suddenly there were gasps and high pitched squeals from the crowd (yes there was a high percentage of Asian’s in the crowd) and the first brave penguins tentatively began their treacherous journey up the beach just past sunset. They look so funny as they wobble up the beach in packs and then pause by the rocks for camouflage before making a dart for the undergrowth on the dunes. As more started to appear FC started placing bets on which penguin would win the foot race to the vegetation. Staggeringly he was right almost every time. Possibly a new career move. We shuffled away from the beach alongside the penguins to see them feeding the chicks in their nests. The chicks may not have been fed for 3 days so were pretty excited and vociferous when they spotted their parents. We left the penguins at around 10pm to drive back to Melbourne making sure to crank up the heating and check under the car first for any of the wee guys.

Craic of the week:
Farmer Susie lending a hand. ‘You must’ve done this before, eh?’ spouts Farmer Giles’o

Learning of the week:
The MCG hosted the first ever official test match (Aus v Eng) in 1877. Bloody Aussies won it also.

Rather loose Film/Music reference of the week:
March of the Penguins (although Emperor Penguins are King Kong sized compared to Blue Penguins)

Dish of the week:
Definitely the BBQ steak – a great intro to classic Aussie cuisine

Day 1-4 Bamboo train fun in Battambang
Our first afternoon in Battambang was unfortunately spent in bed as both us had come down with pretty ropey bellies. Early morningitis from the previous week had now turned in to a viral D&V. To be honest we weren’t missing that much as although Battambang is Cambodia’s second city after Phnom Penh there really is not much going on. We stayed here longer than we would have wanted mainly because we were ill and also a wee bit worried about the flooding in Thailand.

We did find a couple of cool things to do, one example being the bamboo train. This was built just after the Khmer Rouge fell as there were almost no roads in the area. It consisted of a rickety railway track on to which they placed bamboo carts which initially were hand powered, then later motor. It was an exciting (if not pretty touristy) way to see the lush rice fields that surrounded the area and we met some friendly local kids eager to show us around whilst practising their English.

Our last dinner in Cambodia was at Nary’s Kitchen, which was basically a husband and wife’s front room with 3 tables...as we arrived the kids were getting ready for bed. Over our Khmer dinner we had a chance to reflect on our travels in Cambodia and how much we had enjoyed travelling in this country. From the tranquil south coast to the hustle and bustle of Phnom Penh one thing remained constant and that was that despite the horrors that had taken place we found the Cambodian people to be upbeat, warm and welcoming. Whilst you may come to Cambodia to see fantastic temples and sample Khmer cuisine, it’s a place you leave with memories of its courageous people.

Day 5-7 Back to Bangkok
So we had been watching the news about the flooding and scouring the internet for reliable information about Bangkok for a few days. Some reports were scaremongering and suggesting the centre was going to flood imminently, as the earlier pictures of the Royal Palace walls having being breached were disconcerting. We spoke to some travellers who had come from Bangkok a week ago who said the backpacker area was ok but transport was affected. We’d been told by our airline that we could change flights and avoid Bangkok, but we were in Cambodia and pretty much all flights out are via Bangkok. This didn’t help and would have cost serious cash. So we decided to travel via land to Bangkok via bus. It was all going pretty well, even the border crossing where we physically got stamped with a sticker as well as our passports, so that the waiting transport knew who to expect. We had a long wait on the main freeway towards Bangkok with a lot of traffic so we stopped for a toilet break. When we all came back our minivan had gone. One by one everyone’s minivans started to reappear and pick up their passengers but there was no sign of ours. We must have waited 20 minutes and panic was setting in. All our bags were in the van!!! Finally a white van (they were all identical) pulled up and signalled for us to get in. It was our bus but who knows where it had been.

As we neared the city we started to see a bit of damp on the streets and quite a lot of cars abandoned on the side of the roads. This road was built up on stilts so we guess people deemed it a safe place to leave their cars should the flooding worsen. It was dark by now so we couldn’t see much standing water as we entered the city. We made it to Khao San Road and sought refuge there. We were amazed to find the prices on places almost double what we found them when first arrived. The tuk-tuk drivers were charging silly prices as well. We thought we might be able to barter for our accommodation what with the lack of punters but far from it though. The hoteliers said electricity prices were up and the tuk-tuk drivers claimed petrol shortages/hikes. Same old, same old, they will spin any yarn to get their extra Baht, but this time there probably was truth to their tales. Khao San Road seemed completely detached from the awful pictures we had been witnessing on the TV, in fact you couldn’t imagine how surreal it felt. The same buzzy, party atmosphere existed with maybe a handful less tourists trudging past the infamous stalls. The only tell-tale sign was the piles of sandbags piled by door entrances. Other than that it was business as usual.

The next day we wandered around the streets looking for a few more signs of the flooding. We went to the banks of the Chao Phraya River which was indeed swollen. There was still very little flooding of the banks but you could see the height of the river and there was nowhere left for the any extra. We could understand the anger and frustration of the people in the areas of Bangkok that had been devastated by these floods. The government had little option but to sacrifice certain areas of the city to maintain its tourist hub and gleaming CBD. But it was the lack of forward planning that caused the severity of this problem and added to the predictability of this catastrophe that people really feel annoyed about. We felt a bit guilty about walking around the area freely and doing a bit of shopping whilst we knew of the struggles of many ordinary Thai people but we also knew we hadn’t avoided the area and were spending some much needed tourist dollar and encouraged other tourists to follow suit. Indeed we indulged in some sunglasses (of which one pair was to replace Fran's beloved stolen Raybans) and a two dollar haircut for FC as you might be able to tell...

We were worried about our transport options to the airport but knew the elevated skytrain was probably the best one. The only problem was getting to the sky train stop. Our options were walk or tuk-tuk/taxi and with our backpacks and sweltering Bangkok heat we tried for the 3 or 4 wheel option. We couldn’t get a taxi to take us by the meter and the tuk-tuk drivers were charging insane amounts and getting quite aggressive towards us when we wouldn’t pay their inflated prices. This tension wasn’t helped by the fixed price cartel of all the drivers. We decided to walk about 500yds towards our destination and after mispronouncing many times the name of the train station we needed to get to and resulting to pointing to a map on SPs phone we caught a metered taxi for less than a 1/5 of the price of the cartel up the road were charging. The rest of the journey was easy enough and again as we travelled out to the airport (built on a flood plain) there was little evidence of the flood waters we had been so worried about.

And so we left S.E Asia after ten action packed weeks of travels across four countries. We were sad to leave yet excited at the prospect of a different type of adventure in Australasia!!

Craic of the week:
Watching ‘Rain Gambling’ in the town square. This apparently happens across Cambodia but is an extremely popular pastime in Battambang. You can see people on rooftops measuring the rainfall and fortunes can be won and lost on the accuracy of the punters prediction. With the amount of rain that there is in Manchester, it could become a winner there too.

Learning of the week:
Forget deet and garlic, having FC in close proximity is the best insect repellent SP could ask for.

Film/Soundtrack reference of the week:
We were expecting that the centre of Bangkok would be like a scene from this expensive waste of film roll… luckily it wasn’t as bad as the film!

Dish of the week:
DIY BBQ Hotplate

Final South East Asia Mosquito bite count:
With the bite scores pretty close going in to our final week in SE Asia, Battambong proved to be the scene of the most heinous ‘mosquito bloodbath’ of our trip. The crime took place overnight and the perpetrator must have broken and entered in to our room whilst the victim (FC) was sound asleep. Upon awakening FC realised that something was not right…no, not right at all... there had been a massacre.

We immediately conducted a thorough investigation of the crime scene… bedsheets were examined to elimate bedbugs as a possible cause. DNA evidence was taken and the nature of wounds were inspected closely. A cordon was set up to apprehend suspects and several were interrogated, intimidated and then swatted, but unfortunately there was inconclusive evidence to make a charge, even posthumously. Interestingly Susie escaped unscathed and this has led to several conspiracy theories regarding collusion. But with no leads to follow, it appears the serial offender is still at large and ready to strike again…

Week / Fran 17 – Susie 0
Total/ Fran 40 - Susie 21

Day 1-3 Phnom Penh and Susie’s big 3-0
We arrived late in to the Cambodian capital and were a little surprised by the number of prostitutes walking around near our hotel. We discovered it wasn’t that we were in a particularly seedy area, but that whole swathes of the tourist areas were full of hookers. It didn’t feel dangerous or oppressive though, just strange.

There were so many sex tourists (and long term sexpats) in Phnom Penh that you needed far more than 10 fingers and toes to count the number you might see in a few minutes… a game we obviously played. We quickly got the knack of how to spot the aforementioned, normally through a combination of the following criteria:
- Male (often solo) traveller between 35 – 60
- Pony tail but with balding crown
- Hawaiian or oversized polo shirt
- Shorts and slippers combination
- Multiple Premier League standard women with Conference league man

As it turned out however we had far more important things to do in Phnom Penh. It was in fact SP’s special day, the big 3-0, and FC couldn’t help resist playing the toy boy card what with being a juvenile 29. To make her feel younger he got her a bright orange Casio watch after some heavy bartering at the Russian Market as a birthday present. A smashingly nostalgic tribute to the decade of her birth but also very practical as she didn’t have a watch with her. We decided to splash out again and had dinner at a posh French restaurant (it still had hookers though, or maybe they were called escorts!); spookily Becky (SP’s twin) also had duck for her birthday meal. We followed this with drinks on the rooftop balcony of the FCC (Foreign Correspondents Club) playing the Flags Game – identifying all the national flags lined up along the promenade. Due to her greater age and experience, SP won, although FC may have been playing nice and not hinting at the first signs of dementia as SP kept getting Belgium and Germany confused. Nothing Hitler didn’t do in his youth!

The next day a hangover and the thought of being 30 made SP a bit depressed and to compound her mood we visited the Killing Fields and S-21, the main Khmer Rouge prison museum. This really brought about some perspective although without lifting SPs mood. But she should be counting her lucky stars as many of the 2-3 million that were murdered under the KR never made it to 30. The ‘Killing Fields’ are a short tuk-tuk drive out of the city and it is one of the largest examples of mass graves found around the country. This and the prison museum were truly horrific scenes, with blood still visible on the prison walls and bone/tooth fragments easily seen throughout the graves. Compared to the other war atrocities we have learnt about in SE Asia so far, the Khmer Rouge story is by far the hardest to understand. During their genocidal regime, almost half the population were killed indiscriminately and the rest were living lives of poverty, all so Pol Pot’s vision of a pure agricultural society could prevail, one where subservience would rule. While we were in Phnom Penh, the trial of the highest remaining members on the Khmer Rouge was about to start, more than 30 years after the crimes had been committed. Only one man had been convicted so far, the main prison guard of S-21. The Cambodians would be hoping for answers to how and why this tragedy happened as well as for the perpetrators to be punished.

We needed a drink to recover from the day. And this sharply escalated in to more than one when we went to a recommended restaurant called Romdeng to try a local delicacy…Crispy Tarantula. As his sister sagely pointed out, when young FC wouldn’t even have gravy on his roast dinner, but now was having a bush tucker trial. For those who are interested it wasn’t too bad, in fact it tasted a little like soft shell crab, just slightly furrier!

Overall, despite the relatively seedy nature that pervades Phnom Penh we had really enjoyed the charm and chaos of this city on the lush banks of the Mekong much more than we had originally expected. There was an interesting buzz about the place, along with excellent restaurants, a riverfront café culture, burgeoning fashion industry, and a youthful forward looking population. We hope that it is some of these things that entice people to Phnom Penh in the future rather than short skirts and high heels (although that is the current fashion).

Day 4-7 Siem Reap and the temples of Angkor
We took the morning bus to Siem Reap but halfway there our bus broke down (luckily our first time in SE Asia) and all the passengers had to be shepherded on board another passing bus after 30 minutes of failed tinkering. The world had allegedly given birth to its seventh billionth person that day and we can attest this to be true as we are sure most of them were on this bus!! We were sat contorted on the floor next to the bus driver with our backpacks and nearly ended up as windscreen bullseye victims on a couple of occasions which he seemed to find hilarious.

The next day we made our first pilgrimage to the temples of Angkor. Everyone knows that this is one of the biggest draws in Indochina and it certainly is not one which disappoints. Despite it being the number one tourist attraction we found it relatively relaxed and quiet, perhaps as a result of the recent flooding. The religious city was built by various ‘god kings’, inspired by visiting Indian Hindus, each trying to outdo their ancestors with ever larger, more intricate and symmetrical temples. This one-upmanship culminated in the largest religious building in the world, Angkor Wat, being built in the 12th Century. As you enter the site, the first thing you see is the huge rectangular lake near the grounds of Angkor Wat. We were there just after sunset for our 1st morning and there was a pink hue hanging to everything and some low lying mist amongst the trees. Our mission today was to see as much as we could – the ‘Big Circuit’ in the searing heat is a hard task though. Fortunately our tuk-tuk driver was skilled in devising the quickest route to see the most important structures and get us back to Angkor Wat for sundown. It was a long day and to keep us amused as temple fatigue crept in we did engage in Tomb Raider style poses around some of the various buildings!! Neither of us professes to be Lara Croft or learned architects but even we appreciated the scale of the place. You get the same feeling when viewing the Pyramids in Egypt,’ how the bloody hell did they do that’? (…and we don’t mean opening a pizza hut 300m opposite the Sphinx).

On the way back we decided to go straight to dinner as we had only had an ice cream since breakfast. It took us a little while to find the restaurant even with the help of our tuk-tuk driver. We knew it was near a temple (not helpful) and a river (more helpful) and as we headed down a flooded road we thought about heading back. But we saw a big black Jeep by the road and we had read that the 4x4 was the owners of the restaurant. He uses it to ‘ferry’ his passengers back and forth because the location of his restaurant is so bad. We entered a small, relatively empty restaurant but every table bar two were reserved. We were lucky indeed, it’s a very popular restaurant but we were a bit early so managed to get in. Their specials were Kampot steak and Red Snapper on red hot embers …. FC had the $6 steak (he also had the snapper when we visited a few days later) which was awesome, the best piece of meat we’ve ever seen for $6. The chef/owner was French trained and took real pride in his fresh ingredients and unique flavours. It was all washed down with a pitcher of Angkor beer. Well-deserved after all that discovery and history.

The next day we got up at 4am to visit Angkor Wat at sunrise. However we soon realised there was a problem… by 5:30am FC started to come down with some pretty nasty symptoms, such as not being able to finish a coffee and a fever/headache. SP diagnosed it as acute early morningitis. The sun wasn’t going to rise for another 45minutes or so and we wondered why we couldn’t have had half an hour extra in bed. Well, we were really lucky because we claimed the best view in the house 5 minutes before hundreds of Japanese and Chinese tourists arrived on their buses. We stopped cursing and sharpened our elbows in preparation for a struggle to keep our prime real estate. As the anticipation grew and a few people figured out how to use their new spangly cameras, there was a sudden hush as the sun started to leak out tendrils of orange and pink hue over Angkor. The obligatory oohs faded and the mechanical whirring of lenses built to a crescendo. SP probably enjoyed the scrum like environment of protecting FCs prime photographing position as much as the elegant sunrise. The rest of the morning was spent seeing a lot of the peripheral temples outside of the main complex such as Banteay Srei. They were a lot smaller than the ones on the main site but were very well maintained and had some intricate designs.

For our final day in the Angkor complex we decided to cycle to the temples as this would give us the freedom to look in all the nooks and crannies of our favourite temples. We spent our last moments in Angkor taking in the sunset on the one good vantage point, Phnom Bakheng, set on a hill. It was a fitting way to end our adventure…even if it was shared with many of the friends we made at sunrise that previous day.

Craic of the week:
Playing who can identify the most sex tourists in 2 minutes in Phnom Penh…our record. 23.

Learning of the week:
That the flow of the Tonle Sap River changes direction. It, along with every other river, normally flows out to sea. But as the river fills during the rainy season the pressure change results in the river changing direction and it starts to fill the Tonle Sap Lake. This is all celebrated in the annual Water Festival.

Film/Soundtrack reference of the week:
Killing Fields for Phnom Penh / Tomb raider for Angkor

Dish of the week:
Crispy Tarantula vs Kampot steak (we may have needed a 4 wheel drive to get to the restaurant but it was well worth it) – You decide as we can’t!!

Mosquito bite count:
Week / Fran 4 – Susie 3
Total/ Fran 23 - Susie 21

Day 1-2 Seedy Sihanoukville – Named after a king, but not fit for a pauper
Sihanoukville was one of those places where its reputation far exceeded it's reality. It was meant to be Cambodia’s premier beach resort, but it was a dirty, scummy hole, with even scummier people… Famous former residents include Gary Glitter, which says it all!! Unfortunately we had to spend the night there in order to get the boat to Koh Rong and the next morning we woke up to prostitutes circling our breakfast table, enough to turn your condensed milk sour.

Day 3-7 Koh Rong – Monkey Madness
We had been looking forward to heading to the serene island of Koh Rong for a while. Unfortunately the 2 ½ hour boat trip to the island marketed as paradise turned quickly in to a rather nasty episode of Nathan Barley with a group of people who were clearly doing everything they could to ensure the idiots were winning.

It’s quite difficult to put into words how ANNOYING these guys were. They were an extreme version of the type of really brash and LOUD large groups you meet from time whilst travelling, none of them really talking to each other, just each person trying to outdo the last statement with their own increasingly stupid statement or something, anything to get them noticed! The only surprise was that they were not English…which means yes of course, you’ve got it…they must have been Aussie! The main protagonist in the group was dressed up in the attire of a pirate and to be fair he went the whole way sporting eyeliner, giant ear ring, a plastic sword and an acute case of verbal diarrhoea. Indeed Jack Sparrow and his group were to remote island paradise what Sepp Blatter is to the ‘kick it out campaign’… a massive hindrance!

Where they were united however was when it came to singing ‘their’ song…for the best part of 2 ½ hours they simultaneously bellowed on repeat…
“IT’S ALL GONE KOH RONG, IT’S ALL GONE KOH RONG, WE DRINK MEKONG, WE SMOKE A BONG, IT’S ALL GONE KOH RONG”!! A modern classic

When they weren’t singing, Jack Sparrow seemed to be truly amazed with showing everyone individually on the boat his ‘totally awesome speaker system’ which in technical terms consisted of playing an mp3 player through a beer bong that stunk of weed. It was becoming blindingly clear that our hopes of spending some relaxing time on a tranquil island were being severely threatened and it felt more and more like we were going to be taking part in a series of E4’s Shipwrecked, except with an even bigger bunch of choppers (if that is indeed possible). As you can imagine we had already started devising our plan to get booted off in the first week!

We had a new found belief in a higher power when we found out that these guys were not going to be staying at the same place as us… PHEW!!! We later learnt from the manager of our bungalows that we were not the only people the Koh Rong’uns were winding up the ‘rong’ way…indeed this motley crew had been causing havoc on the island for a while and the only reason a small selection of them (there’s more!) had been on the boat was to pick up supplies from the mainland. We were even more surprised when we heard that they had all actually opened a ‘guesthouse/commune’ called ‘Ooh La La’ on the island. We were left thinking how could these guys run a business? When we passed it later our question was answered….badly… it looked more like a boarded up vacant house in West Baltimore (for those who watch the Wire) and there were probably even more drugs being taken in this one. Apparently the locals (and other hotels) hadn’t taken too kindly to their remote paradise being infiltrated either.

In all fairness boat trip aside we actually found Koh Rong to be a very chilled out and peaceful place as we rarely bumped in to those guys. The coastline was pristine and we had a nice beach hut where you could hear the waves break on the shore throughout the night. Our days consisted of attempting yoga on the beach, swimming in the sea and chilling in hammocks...all this hard work was rounded off with some awesome food overlooking the night sea which was lit up by spooky phosphorescence. We also met a quite a few nice people on the island as well, including a gap year Geordie couple who we shared a few drinks and stories with.

Disconcertingly we bumped into Captain Jack Sparrow the next day and he showed us how he had swapped his plastic sword for a real one, which was quite worrying considering how off his face he was. Perhaps this was in response to the fact that the Cambodian Police had visited the island with AK47’s earlier that day, whether this was with a warrant for Captain Jack we can only speculate. We later heard that the reason for the police rocking up was to serve an eviction notice to Jack Sparrow and his crewmates to leave the island in the morning… the Koh Rong residents were already blowing up the balloons for the celebration!

The boat trip back from Koh Rong was ridiculously choppy and we had some genuine moments of worry for our lives or at least certainly our bags. Quite a number of the passengers were being sick, somehow we managed to hold on to our stomach contents which was a big surprise considering FC’s wobbly sea legs. Indeed evicted Jack was on the boat back and he was dealing with the rough seas in his own way…with a beer bong of Mekong… unfortunately it didn’t work and he was soon chundering too… It’s all gone Koh Rong indeed!

Craic of the week:
Jack Sparrow and his motley crew being thrown off Koh Rong island by the police. Well that and also Susie with a squid beard...it's crazy funny out here!!

Learning of the week:
Learning yoga poses on the beach…unfortunately not taught by Ryan Giggs but a cheesy American called Chaz!

Film/Soundtrack reference of the week:
Another Nathan Barley video in order to celebrate our time with Captain Jack Sparrow et al.

Dish of the week:
Fish Amok

Mosquito bite count:
Week/ Fran 5 – Susie 12
Total/ Fran 19 - Susie 18

Day 1-4 Kep
We escaped the island of Phu Quoc on the ‘Super Dong’ ferry and headed to the Cambodian border crossing, Ha Tien. This border was only recently opened to tourists. It was a bit of a wasteland which we had to walk through and again we were pretty much the only Westerners there (a running theme). On the Cambodian side there was Las Vegas Casino, where guns are apparently used frequently to settle disputes over debt. This only added to the Wild West feel of the place. One of the guards tried to charge us a $1 each to fill in a health card, a common scam that we were wise to. We politely declined and carried on walking to meet our waiting transport.

Jasmine Valley was our base for the next 4 nights. It was an eco lodge nestled in a valley on the edge of Kep National Park. Run by an Aussie and his Cambodian wife, it was the sort of place you could picture yourself running if you were in the hospitality game. Or at least aspire to. Everything was designed and built from scratch using local materials and the owners have taken great care to ensure its eco properties are maintained. The setting and facilities were great and the guy was even building Cambodia’s 1st skate ramp in the jungle! Dude!! Even though you were in a remote solar powered environment, the food was absolutely fantastic with an excellent mix of Khmer and hearty Western bush tucker, including some amazing 'pig ribs', black panther ale pie and some excellent pizzas out of its wood fired oven.

In this unspoilt valley there were only ten or so huts which were intertwined with the jungle. One nights’ accommodation was in a mountain hut on stilts which had superb views down the valley to the sea. The next few nights were on firmer ground but equally cool as we shared it with a family of geckos and the occasional bat (which wasn’t hut trained as it kept pooing on the floor). Indeed this place wasn't really for the squeamish as we came across snakes on the footpaths, a tarantula in the pool table pocket and many interesting noises from the jungle during the night.

The place had a natural spa pool which was full of Garra Rufa fish, the kind that people pay £20 for a 30mins foot massage. There were hundreds of these things willing to give you a full body ‘massage’ if you were willing. FC wasn’t though; he couldn’t stand more than 10 seconds with the critters before he was in hysterics as they were so ticklish. Away from this we spent two days walking in the National Park where we managed to find a number of camera shy monkeys as well as plenty more creepy crawlies. There were also some stunning sunsets to be had whilst braving the mozzies. There wasn’t much else to do in sleepy Kep town but we quite liked that as we really enjoyed the tranquillity of our jungle retreat.

Day 5-7 Kampot
Our next stop was the rather chilled out town of Kampot. This place was home to a fair number of expats as a result of a few NGO projects, one of these was called Epic Arts which helps deaf and disabled kids …. We had our breakfast at the Epic Arts Café where you ticked off on the menu what you wanted, a clever little idea.

We took a tour of Bokor National Park which was interesting. This was a place originally ‘created’ by the French looking for some fresh air in the hills. They even built a casino in this holiday retreat. Later King Sihanouk built his Summer Palace there which had a separate wing for all his concubines. In the 70s it became rather less glitzy as the Khmer Rouge and the Vietnamese turned it in to a war zone, with the Khmer Rouge using it as one of their last strangleholds. Lots of bullet holes can be seen in the remaining buildings as a result of this slugfest. Now the NP has been bought by an oil magnate and is privatising the whole thing. In the next few years a 3 + 5 * hotel will be completed, and not much will be left of this isolated French outpost. A bit of a shame really but money seems to talk in Cambodia with many National Parks being bought up by rich investors, cashing in on the tourist dollar. There is still an attractive waterfall in the Park, which gave us an opportunity to cool down.

At the end of the day we took a sunset boat trip along the estuary in a long tail boat with some of the people from the tour. We also had a couple of interesting characters join us as we set off; one was an American photojournalist working in Phnom Penh, the other a huge Singaporean solo traveller. The sleazy American was very drunk and was trying to hit on an English girl and making really crass comments, particularly when the Singaporean guy joined us half way down the river. This guy was massive and when he sat down everyone else had to move to the other side of the boat to stop it tipping over. No joke. He had a branded pair of shorts on called ‘Big Boy’ and the American decided to keep on calling him this much to everyone else’s embarrassment. Just before we turned around the American decided he was going for a swim and jumped off the boat, to be fair if he hadn’t of jumped everyone was queuing up to push him and it was a shame the skipper waited around for a minute instead of leaving him in water. But hey, it made for an eventful ride and we really enjoyed our sunset cocktails laughing at the events of the day.

We then had a chilled out Sunday that consisted of wandering around the town, watching the rugby world cup final, which we missed the last 15 minutes of due to a thunderstorm and then watching the Utd v City game...less said the better. Shame the thunderstorm didn’t continue during the footy, fuzzy grey would have beaten that all day long!!

Craic of the week:
Definitely watching the sleazy American (about 60+) trying to chat up the English girl (30)...
Sleazy American: “You have a lovely smile”
Poor English girl: “Er Thanks”
Sleazy American: “Wanna go for a drink tonight?”
Poor English girl: “Er I need to phone my mother later”
… Great lines but he bombed as much as he did when he belly flopped into the water!!

Learning of the week:
Kampot pepper is world renowned and is commonly imported by French chefs.

Film/Soundtrack reference of the week:
With all the animal life in our jungle accommodation it felt a little like this, especially with all the bat guano in our room.

Dish of the week:
Crab with green Kampot pepper

Mosquito bite count:
Week/ Fran 4 – Susie 2
Total/ Fran 14 - Susie 6